Being a new student within the Order of Christ Sophia, I’m finding out that the spiritual path brings with it some very particular challenges. One that I face almost daily is that of Letting Go. It seems that this is the very LAST thing my ego wants to do. Looking at it from this perspective, I can see how I would like to control absolutely everything in my life, including my spiritual growth. Unfortunately, a look back at my track record shows that I have not been able to control very much at all, whether it be in the positive or negative outcomes that my choices have generated. I think the realization here is that those choices have been made from a limited view which couldn’t possibly take into account that which God sees.

So although my ego wants to maintain this tight grip on things, deep down I know that this is a completely inadequate response to the vast enormity of life. So I find myself caught, at times, between fears: the fear of continuing to live life from this limited view – which can’t even see around the next corner; and the fear of letting go and trusting in something unknown, but of much greater vision, by all accounts. The whole situation almost feels a bit like standing at the top of a high bank with a rope swing in my hand, deciding whether to plunge down into the river below. Other people have jumped in before me, and are telling me that it was exhilarating and ultimately nothing to be afraid of. And that the water’s fine!

So the process for me at the moment is to learn to let go to whatever degree I can manage, and then simply watch what happens. What I’ve been experiencing so far is that it is safe – safe to trust in my heart’s desires, in my teacher, and in God.

By Jacob, Student, Ann Arbor