Consciousness. Integrity. Love.
Learning Who I Am
I’m learning a lot about who I truly am, about God, about love, about faith, freedom, connection and about humility. For most of my adult live I have lived small and scared. I have been stifled by fear, a fear of truly being myself and listening to my soul. I have made many choices out of fear - fear of change, fear of commitment, fear of not being loved and not being good enough. I was bound and trapped by these fears and I’m starting to become free of them. I’m learning to open up and be in relationship with God and other people. I’m letting go of judging myself and others and learning acceptance. I’m seeing how judging has kept me separate from people and from God. I’m learning to pray and meditate and to love and to be in relationship with God. I am learning to be thankful and grateful for everything God gives me – and to feel especially thankful for the stuff that feels hard and painful. I’m learning to let go of patterns and concepts that have kept me stuck – like the concept I have that I need a man/partner to be complete and whole and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. I’m experiencing how hiding out of shame has kept me stuck and kept me from the Love. I’m shedding behaviors of entitlement and laziness and of wanting to be taken care of. I’m also recognizing that how I’ve loved in the past was actually taking and was selfish.
I feel moved and blessed every day and I’m learning to recognize that every second of every day I have a choice – the choice to choose God or to choose the world and temptations. Sometimes I choose God and sometimes I choose the world/temptations. I feel the difference and am starting to choose God more and feel the freedom and grace in doing this. I know that whatever my choice is that God is always with me and loving me.
By Joy, Novice, Oakland
| This entry was posted by revmargaret on June 18, 2010 at 10:36 pm, and is filed under Oakland. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
No trackbacks yet.
Love Deeper Than You Can Imagine
about 10 months ago - No comments
I find it amusing how confused I really was when I found the Center of Light. I thought that I had a pretty good handle on what it meant to be a spiritual seeker through my years of reading and studying. I’d been exposed to most every flavor of religion and spirituality, but it never More >
Journey of Love
about 10 months ago - No comments
When I first stepped into the Center of Light, I felt enveloped by sincerity, warmth, and love. I was spiritually searching for this authenticity and genuineness and knew that this is where it existed in its purest form. When first meeting with Reverend David and Reverend Monica, I became aware that my pursuit of transformative More >
Mary of Magdala
about 1 year ago - 1 comment
Over the past couple of weeks, at the Center of Light, Seattle we have been reading about and discussing the conversion of Mary Magdalene. Her story is a story of complete transformation. She went from being riddled with darkness to becoming one of the most faithful of the Master Jesus’ disciples. Hers is a journey More >
Overwhelmed by Love
about 1 year ago - 1 comment
At the time I found the Center of Light two years ago, I felt like a leaf that was hopelessly tossed about in the autumn wind. There were some temporary ups and funny turns, but the overall trajectory seemed downward and hopeless. In my heart I was despaired. For years I had tried to find More >
Dreaming of Brotherhood
about 1 year ago - No comments
When I was nine years old I remember my parents telling me, “we’re going to move just one more time.” They sincerely understood that it was getting harder to leave friends and schools as my sister and I got older. By the time we settled in Colorado one year later it was the eighth house More >
That I Am Loved
about 1 year ago - 8 comments
I would like to share with you a turning point in my life. A series of events that has caused more healing than I ever thought possible. I refer to the story as the time when God forced me to accept being loved. (Now, I know God doesn’t force one to do anything, but hear More >
The Start of My Life in God
about 1 year ago - 1 comment
I was an artist. This was just what I was and if you asked me how I was going to support myself as an artist (was I going to be a commercial graphic designer? NO!) I would get very offended because that just didn’t matter to me as much as being “free” and making art More >
Colorado Peace Ride 2010
about 1 year ago - 4 comments
The Colorado Peace Ride? It’s a 238-mile bicycle ride in the mountains to raise money for non-profit organizations. I said, “Sure. I’ll do it.” I hadn’t ridden a bike since I was twelve years old, but I was up for the challenge. I had no idea what I was getting into. After all, it’s just about riding a bike, right? More >
Not Your Parents’ Jesus and Mary
about 1 year ago - 3 comments
I have been living in spiritual community for six weeks now, as a novice at the Chicago Center of Light. I made this move because for the last two years I have been more and more involved with this spiritual practice, through meditation classes, spiritual seminars, and eventually through relationships with Teachers, priests, and the More >
Will My Question Finally Be Answered?
about 1 year ago - 1 comment
For the past 20 years, my subconscious mind was driven by one pre-dominantly question, “What is the purpose of my life?” I got raised by an agnostic mother and grew up in a country destroyed by a religious civil war so turning to God, Jesus and Mary to get questions answered was not an option. More >
about 1 year ago
How lovely to hear the process of opening to truth in practical, everyday terms…the transformation from heaviness to Lightness of Being. Thanks for sharing, Joy.