Since being on this spiritual path, my life has changed and continues to change into more than I really ever believed was possible for me. Some days, I look around me and question how I got here. It is as if I were popped into someone else’s life. Then I realize that it is mine – a life of love and abundance with a connection to God the exceeds everything I had ever hoped for.

Just five years ago, I lived a very empty life. I was desperately trying to squeeze some happiness from anywhere I could. I was addicted to so many things – shopping, work, relationships. I was an absent mother because I was so empty inside. I was severely depressed and anxious and was starting to follow the same path my own mother took which was something I had fought against since being a teenager. How many times I said, “I will never be like her!” and yet, here I was, falling into the same depressed and un-empowered path she had taken. It was far from the life I had dreamed of creating as I was growing up. It was utterly depressing and I didn’t know how to get out of it.

My saving grace was my connection and love for God. Throughout my life, I had depended upon this relationship to survive. When I was in 7th grade, I was alone with no support and terrified in my life. I didn’t know what to do, so one day on my way to school I decided to create God. In my mind I dreamed up what God looked like and the two of us began a conversation that kept me alive – it saved my life. This connection waxed and waned throughout my life but was always there. I knew this force loved me as I found so many examples of it. Sometimes God would send me a message of what to do through a song or a call or chance meeting with someone I needed to speak with. God was there loving and supporting me. As I grew up I searched for this connection in a more conscious way. I searched in many religions and Christian denominations. I knew what God felt like from the earlier experiences and none of the churches or groups I visited had that feeling. I had almost given up in finding God when I ran across the Center of Light. I will never forget seeing the sign, “Christian Mystics”. My heart leapt for I knew instinctively that this was it  - what I had been looking for.  As I began the introduction class and became more involved, I recognized the feeling as the God I had come to know. The presence within the walls of the buildings and hearts of the community. I had come home.

So here I am, a changed being. There is no more depression or anxiety. I live a life connected to my Creator. God continues to bless me and all I can do is receive and give that love back to others who are searching as I was. It is a true gift for this world. The love is real. The change is possible for anyone.

By Leona, Deacon, Charlotte