Sunday morning, right before going to the Center, a wasp buzzed in the kitchen. As I took it into a napkin to release it outside, I realized how in the past I would have crushed it. Also, this made me think how the world is more often reacting to God’s loving touch and care by biting, stabbing, fighting and resisting because of fear, just as this wasp was trying to do before it was released.

During meditation, I contemplated at how often I had done the same with my resistance, without recognizing that God was helping to set me free. It is through such small experiences that I see how I’ve grown since being on this spiritual path and how the teachings are helping me to be a better person on this earth.

One very noticeable example I recognize is how, since being with the Order, it saved my marriage. In the past, even though I thought I was loving my wife, Sylvia, I actually felt resentful towards her and would be grumpy and manipulative. When we were introduced to the mirroring exercise, and I started to heal some of my wounds, our relationship started to improve. Progressively I felt more loving toward Sylvia, but it’s a different kind of love. It is no longer the sticky feeling that came when I was trying to get my way and would only give in if she would. Now it’s a much more stable, committed and respectful relationship, and I now am capable of expressing my feelings. I would never have hoped that after more than twenty years of being together, we would have a relationship that feels so much better than when we initially met. That alone is a testament to the power of healing, and that the only way is to love as Jesus Christ taught us to.

I very often see this spiritual path as an ongoing process of refining oneself; and I see that as soon as I let my guard down, how sneaky darkness creeps in and starts to undermine the work done. Just as this wasp was by instinct fighting, I see more clearly that God is here as a helping hand to set us free, but most of the time we are not conscious of it.

By James, Deacon, Atlanta